1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
