Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
