and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
