You really coming over, don't trick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
