You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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