dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
