Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
