no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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