someone threw a dead crab at me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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