Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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