his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize