is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
