He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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