Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
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I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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