I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize