Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
