Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
