1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
