she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
