I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Still dying that you shit outside
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
