so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i dont even know how to be here
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just want nice things and good sex
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
