did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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