he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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