I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
