he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just cropdusted the office
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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