Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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