can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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