i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
