i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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