im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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