yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
