wat bout pragnant strippers??
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
