I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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