Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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