I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
