Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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