he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
