Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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