the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
