on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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