Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And then my night got REAL pukey
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
