People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
