im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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