guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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