Is it normal to miss your booty call?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
