so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm having to shit out rocks
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