I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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