Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
