The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
