the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
