From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
