Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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