he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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