This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
