I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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