just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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