Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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