So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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